Do you ever look back on your life as a mom, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself “You did good!”? If not, you should!! We moms can be so ridiculously hard on ourselves. We dawn our mom guilt, slip into negative thoughts, and wear feelings of failure like a pair of woolen yoga pants. How about we forget all of those heavy things, lighten our load and toot our own horns for a bit? Join me!!
I recently skimmed an article by a mother who didn’t want to be classified, or in her words “marginalized” as a mom. She felt her life was bigger than being pigeonholed into that role. I get that our lives are bigger than being a mom but … pigeonhole me and call me “mama” because I love being a mom!!! (click to tweet)
Being a mom has been one of my most validating, humbling, uplifting and gratifying things to be. “Mom” is one of my favorite names!
Getting to be the mom of adult children is proven to be even more rewarding. I know that I am very blessed to have children who have not made seriously poor choices but don’t think for one minute that my kids are perfect. They were imperfect when they were young and they’re imperfect as adults. We all are. I don’t know why some of our children choose the path they choose. I do know that the outcome of our parenting has all sorts of possibilities and some do not fulfill our hopes and dreams.
Once our kids have made adult decisions to choose their own life path, they are out of our hands. But I know full well that they are not out of our hearts. If an unfavorable outcome is part of your parenting story, please know that I am sensitive to your tender heart. I, in no way, intend to rub salt into your wound here. But, for you, for all of us moms, there are ways in which we can acknowledge that we did good. That’s what this is about. Our successes. Not the mom guilt, not the feelings of failure or any of that. This is about lifting ourselves up and recognizing the good stuff.
A younger mom friend once asked me how I gauge parental success. I thought about this for a few days and I came up with this: I feel successful as a parent when my children have moved out but still look forward to coming back. I also feel a gratifying tinge of success when my adult children hang out together – because they want to. This does my mama’s heart a world of good.
What is your thermometer for parental success? This is YOUR question and YOUR answer based on YOUR experience.
I know that there are countless ways we can see that we did good if we turn our focus to them rather than the possible negatives. Look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, “You did good because _______.” Then come back here and tell us what you said.
Way to go, Mom!! You did good!!! (click to tweet)
Photo credit: Pixabay.com, Braite