I’m no art expert… but my kids are a masterpiece. And so are yours.

My daughter bee-bopped through the living room the other day and excitedly told me to google Jackson Pollock’s Number 1. It was described to her as “the ugliest painting ever” but it is also a known masterpiece.

Her school outings (what I called field trips back in the day and were trips to the zoo or a tour of the police station) have taken her to the National Gallery and British Museum in London and The Louvre and Rodin in Paris.

Continue reading “I’m no art expert… but my kids are a masterpiece. And so are yours.”

Mom, You Did Good!!

Do you ever look back on your life as a mom, pat yourself on the back and tell yourself “You did good!”? If not, you should!! We moms can be so ridiculously hard on ourselves. We dawn our mom guilt, slip into negative thoughts, and wear feelings of failure like a pair of woolen yoga pants. How about we forget all of those heavy things, lighten our load and toot our own horns for a bit? Join me!!

I recently skimmed an article by a mother who didn’t want to be classified, or in her words “marginalized” as a mom. She felt her life was bigger than being pigeonholed into that role. I get that our lives are bigger than being a mom but … pigeonhole me and call me “mama” because I love being a mom!!! (click to tweet)

Being a mom has been one of my most validating, humbling, uplifting and gratifying things to be. “Mom” is one of my favorite names!

Getting to be the mom of adult children is proven to be even more rewarding. I know that I am very blessed to have children who have not made seriously poor choices but don’t think for one minute that my kids are perfect. They were imperfect when they were young and they’re imperfect as adults. We all are. I don’t know why some of our children choose the path they choose. I do know that the outcome of our parenting has all sorts of possibilities and some do not fulfill our hopes and dreams.

Once our kids have made adult decisions to choose their own life path, they are out of our hands. But I know full well that they are not out of our hearts. If an unfavorable outcome is part of your parenting story, please know that I am sensitive to your tender heart. I, in no way, intend to rub salt into your wound here. But, for you, for all of us moms, there are ways in which we can acknowledge that we did good. That’s what this is about. Our successes. Not the mom guilt, not the feelings of failure or any of that. This is about lifting ourselves up and recognizing the good stuff.

Mom, You Did Good

A younger mom friend once asked me how I gauge parental success. I thought about this for a few days and I came up with this: I feel successful as a parent when my children have moved out but still look forward to coming back. I also feel a gratifying tinge of success when my adult children hang out together – because they want to. This does my mama’s heart a world of good.

What is your thermometer for parental success? This is YOUR question and YOUR answer based on YOUR experience.

I know that there are countless ways we can see that we did good if we turn our focus to them rather than the possible negatives. Look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, “You did good because _______.” Then come back here and tell us what you said.

Way to go, Mom!! You did good!!! (click to tweet)

 

 

Photo credit: Pixabay.com, Braite

Moms, you can survive when your child moves out. I promise!

I think back to a moment when our daughter had her first baby. She was exhausted. Spent. The feedings rolled around every two hours but by the time she finished the feeding and completed one task such as a quick power nap or shower, two hours had passed and her sweet little one was hungry again. We stood face to face in her living room. Her with her downcast shoulders and me with my sympathetic smile. I cupped her tear-stained cheeks with my love-worn grandma hands and said, “You can do this. Many others have gone before you and survived. It will be okay. I promise!”

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Praying Character Into Our Adult Children

I stumbled over a post I had written on another blog of mine a while back about praying for the character of our children as we raise them. It occurred to me as I read and pondered on my stage of life with adult children, that our kids never outgrow the need for these same character building prayers.

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We Get to Leave the Candy Out! (And Other Wonderful Things Nothers Get to Do)

For those whose children have all flown the coop…

There are things that as mothers we don’t get to do anymore but there are some really great things we can do now as nothers.

As we are about to launch our last chicken (that probably doesn’t conjure up the best visual, does it? Oh well, I’m leaving it.), I find myself struggling a bit with moments of sadness and grieving all the things I will miss. I sit in those feelings for a moment because it’s important to feel them and process them but I refuse to dwell there. I snap out of it and remind myself that this is part of life and that this is right and good – even though right and good is rarely easy. I also remind myself that time marches on after she leaves and that my life needs to march on as well.

Continue reading “We Get to Leave the Candy Out! (And Other Wonderful Things Nothers Get to Do)”

Mom, do you know where my Sperry’s are?

This morning I was driving to the airport to pick up a friend and my daughter called me and asked if I knew where her shoes were. I didn’t recall right away but as I searched through the corridors of my mom brain I remembered that I had seen them in the entry way by the front door. (In plain sight, of course.) I heard my own mom talking in my head, “If it were a snake, it’d ‘v bit you.” But I refrained from allowing that voice in my head to go live mostly because I needed to get off the phone and pay attention to my navigation system.

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When a Pot Roast Won’t Fix It: Trusting God With Our Adult Children

Remember when our children were younger and we could put a Band-Aid on their boo-boo and give them a kiss and a cookie and glass of milk? “All better now,” we’d lovingly tell them. Remember when they got older and the boo-boos went from a knee scrape to a wounded heart? It would take more than a kiss and a cookie to make this boo-boo better.

Continue reading “When a Pot Roast Won’t Fix It: Trusting God With Our Adult Children”